Friday, February 02, 2007
Man Blamed for Global Warming
A man in Northumberland has been blamed for most of the causes of global warming, creating irreversible climate change and the possible extinction of millions of species on the planet. Mr. Eric Stevens, a biscuit factory worker in South Shields, was responsible for almost 95% of carbon emissions in the past ten years according to the IPCC report published today. Dr. Rajendra Pachauri, chairman of the Intergovernmental Panel of Climate Change, said today that it was 'very likely' that Mr. Stevens was more than likely the biggest contributor to climate change. 'We have unequivocal evidence from data collected from governments all around the globe that point directly to Mr. Stevens in Newscastleshire. I have ordered, for the sake of the planet, a UN task force to go round to the man's house and turn off all his lights,' announced Dr. Pachauri at a conference in Paris earlier. He added that, 'In order to prevent further gas emissions I have also ordered tins of beans and several packets of dried fruit to be destroyed.'
Labels: beans, biscuits, climate change, emissions, global warming, IPCC
# posted by mark @ 8:35 pm 
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Wouldn't Big Foot have the largest carbon footprint? For Christsakes, get after him!
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# posted by 
: 8:07 pm
: 8:07 pm << Home
