Monday, April 30, 2007
Infamous Five Go To Jail
Five Britons were jailed for life today for maybe thinking about doing something perhaps sometime in the future. Bags of fertiliser and sparklers were found in a lock-up belonging to one of the men that could have been made into bombs that the five might have planned to use to blow up a dustbin, six phone boxes and a bird box. Further evidence suggested that Omar Khyam, son of Victor, had in fact known a man who had one time watched a video that his brother had lent him about Al-Qaeda, but this has yet to be established.
Labels: bombs, fertiliser, guilty, muslim
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Rally for Kent
Thousands of people in 35 capitals have taken part in the Global Day for Kent in support of the hurricane hit region of England. Over 70 houses were affected, some with serious roof and chimney damage, and several families had to stay with relatives for the night. It was a last minute change to the planned Global Day for Darfur which was to mark the fourth anniversary of the conflict that has cost over 200,000 lives. A spokesman for the event said, 'In light of the terrible situation in some parts of Kent we felt it would be unreasonable to deflect attention away to a war-ravaged African country. We only hope the people of Kent can recover their lives that have been so cruelly devastated.'
Labels: chimney, Darfur, death, earthquake, Kent
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Church Deny Reality
The Church of England has denied employing Peter Halliday who abused several children 17 years ago. In a statement earlier, Bishop David Wilcox said that 'the Church never has and never will never employ anyone who has or hasn't abused children whether they have or not. Further more, it is not the intention of God to employ people to abuse children in His name and it is simply wrong to suggest otherwise'. In a similar message, the Pope, who is infallible, said that the Church and God would not tolerate the abuse of children in its congregation as long as it was done in the glare of the media.
Labels: abuse, children, church, God, Pope
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Footballer Dies
Alan Ball, a footballer, died today at 61. A commentator said, 'Although I had not heard of Alan Ball until today he was a great man at playing football. I am aware that he was part of the England team of 1966, who were also footballers, and that they won a competition. I'm sure the world of people who play football will be saddened by the news that he has died.' All football will be cancelled.
Labels: 1966, Alan Ball, dead, football
Monday, April 23, 2007
Yeltsin 'In Stable Condition'
Russian ex-president Boris Yeltsin has died of a heart attack aged 76, two years after he was poisoned by the Kremlin and five years after being assassinated by the CIA. Yeltsin, who was 85 last week, was instrumental in bringing Russia into the modern age embracing democracy and corruption, leaving behind the Cold War traits of secrecy and subterfuge. Yeltsin will address the Russian people later today in response to his death and is expected to make a full recovery from his slight cough.
Labels: alive, Boris Yeltsin, dead, Russia
Friday, April 20, 2007
Nappy Fight
Police were shocked, saddened, sickened, alarmed, angry, horrified and distressed at footage of four women taunting babies to fight. The incident occurred in Plymouth, where toddler fighting has been illegal since 1985. 'We just did not want our kids to turn out like Graham Norton or Cliff Richard,' said one of the women in her defence.
Labels: baby, fight, gay, women
Thursday, April 19, 2007
No More Wild Horses
The Rolling Stones are to be put down in a bid to end further suffering to themselves and others. The band, who have been touring the world with a mixture of old rock tunes and ketamine, were considered too old for stud and vets felt there was no alternative but a painless injection. 'It's a shame,' said a senior vet, 'but I think the Stones have run their course, although I'm not sure we'll be able to find any good tissue on them to inject.'
Labels: defunct, horse tranquilser, old, Rolling Stones
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
A Quantity of People Killed
Up to 200 people were killed in bomb attacks in Baghdad that killed over 200 people. In one attack that killed 140 over 130 people were killed. In two other incidents nearly a dozen people were killed when two bombs killed 11 people. The total is expected to rise over 210 people.
Labels: Baghdad, bombs, death, iraq
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Duckin' Hell!
The England Cricket team made cricketing history by missing every ball in all 50 overs before being knocked out of the Cricket World Cup. England, who were all out for 0 denied their high living lifestyle of champagne, rich food, recreational drugs and high class escorts was to blame. South Africa in reply reached 2653 for 1.
Labels: cricket, England, rubbish
Monday, April 16, 2007
Virginia High Score
A gunman has killed 31 people at a Virginia University, toppling the previous record of 14 by gunman Charles Whitman at University of Texas in 1966. Previous scores by gunmen in Columbine reached only 12 while Charles Roberts IV only managed 5 at an Amish school in 2006. It is expected an attempt on the world record may occur within a year.
Labels: Americans, guns, high score, shooting, students
Friday, April 13, 2007
The Fat, Selfish, Greedy Gene
Scientists at Oxford University have isolated the so called 'fat gene' that makes people eat cakes and pies. The gene works by gorging itself on other genes and then latching itself onto the side of and organ, like the kidney, where it stays for years without moving. The gene can also combine with other 'fat genes' to make 'superfat genes' that can increase a person's appetite for burgers, fizzy drinks, big cars and loose fitting trousers.
Labels: big boned, bullshit, burgers, fat, gene, lard
