Tuesday, May 01, 2007

 

Prince Primed for Peace

News that Prince Harry is to be fired into Iraq has caused controversy within the military and media as well as causing widespread panic in the Middle East. The missile, whose warhead has been specially designed to encase the third-in-line-to-the-throne-soldier, will be deployed over Basra in an attempt to disrupt insurgency activity long enough for ground troops to erect a memorial to the Prince's mother, Princess Diana, in an effort to bring peace and stability to the region. No one was available for comment.

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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

 

A Quantity of People Killed

Up to 200 people were killed in bomb attacks in Baghdad that killed over 200 people. In one attack that killed 140 over 130 people were killed. In two other incidents nearly a dozen people were killed when two bombs killed 11 people. The total is expected to rise over 210 people.

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Monday, March 19, 2007

 

'Aint No Time For Quitin'

George Bush has asked for a little more time to sort out Iraq. In a speech to mark four years since the 2003 invasion the President said it would take 'somewhere up to about a couple of weeks or years' to bring peace and stability to the region.

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Thursday, February 22, 2007

 

Eubank Cleans Up Government

Well dressed comedy boxer Chris Eubank has been arrested in Westminster after protesting against news that his son, Prince Harry, is being sent to Iraq to be shot. Eubank, who invented the pushable cleaning aid, drove a tank over the Houses of Parliament before shooting a 'peace missile' at Big Ben. He was ordered to pay six million pounds to repair the clock and a thirty pound parking fine.

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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

 

Irag Embraces Capatalism

The new Democratic Republic of Iraq announced its full intention as a Western-style capitalist state today by squandering millions of dollars meant for rebuilding on big cars and luxury swimming pools. 'We in Iraq want to show our appreciation of the Americans' destruction and destabilisation of our once proud and beautiful land by wasting vast sums of money on trivial items,' said the Iraqi Interior Minister earlier today.

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